Monday, April 28, 2008

Once upon a time...

Rebecca’s second wedding anniversary is this week. She’s celebrating by sharing on her blog the story of how she met her husband. She’s invited and inspired others to share theirs too, so here is mine. Once Upon a time…

One of the first jobs I had after graduating from college was as flight attendant for a commuter airline. My home base changed with the tourist traffic, so during the winter months I lived I in Florida, at home with my parents. During the summer months I lived in Cape Cod, Massachusetts with a house full of other flight attendants.

After spending the summer months in New England, I returned to Florida just after Labor Day. The very next Sunday I went to church and learned they had hired a new staff member while I was away. Scott was the new Minister of Music and Youth. He was fresh out of seminary and this was his first full time ministry position.

There were a few other singles at the church, most of whom I knew quite well having grown up with them. In a brief conversation with one of the girls, I gathered that she was interested in Scott. I put my matchmaking skills to work.

The Trivial Pursuit board game was really popular then, so I set out to set up a social game. I don’t really remember how it actually came about, but it wasn’t long before several of us ended up at Scott’s apartment (he was the only one with his own apartment at the time) to answer stupid questions and fill our game pieces with colored pie wedges. The ulterior motive of the game night was to get Scott and the other girl some face time somewhere other than church.

At one point in the game, one person went to the bathroom, one went out to their car to get something, one went to use the phone, one went to the kitchen to get a drink. Everyone had stepped away from the game board for one reason or another. Everyone, that is, except Scott and I. He didn’t waste any time. While it was just the two of us, he asked me out to dinner.

I was a little stunned and totally not expecting that from him. After all, I was there to fix him up with someone else. I think my response was something like, “Where did that come from?”

I did eventually agree to go to dinner with him. It was early in the week when I agreed and we set the date for the following weekend. Apparently Scott was having difficulty waiting until the weekend because by Wednesday he asked me to go out for dessert and coffee. I am not that fond of apple pie or coffee, but I went.

We dated for a couple of months. Scott got anxious again and it wasn’t long before he said to me, “I want you to be my wife.”

I told him that was nice. As far as I could tell, that was not a question.

Thus began a lifetime of learning to communicate in a whole new way. Me, learning to hear what he meant instead of what he actually said. Him, learning patience as he waits through my long pauses as I take inordinate amounts of time to formulate into words what is really going on in my head.

After some coaching, he did actually offer a proposal in the form of a question.

It took some convincing for me. It’s that hesitation thing I do. Being one who has difficulty jumping right in, my answer was, “I can’t say no.”

He says it was love at first sight for him. He’s like that. When he sees something that hits the spot, he’s never satisfied with anything else.

That was in September. The wedding was the following June.

That was over 20 years ago.

It has been, and still is, a wild and crazy ride with all kinds of ups and downs. The one thing I know for sure now after 20 years of marriage is that there will never be another. This is it and I'm going to hang on to it as tightly as I can. And that is not just because of my commitment to Scott, but my commitment to Jesus. Following His directions is what has held us together for so long.

Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands. Ephesians 5:22-24

4 comments:

Gabriel said...

What a great story, Nancy! I loved it. I particularly enjoyed this paragraph:

"Me, learning to hear what he meant instead of what he actually said. Him, learning patience as he waits through my long pauses as I take inordinate amounts of time to formulate into words what is really going on in my head."

It pretty much describes every couple, including mine. :-)

Here is my story. Hope you like it!

Jenny said...

You brought tears to my eyes!

"That was over 20 years ago" really got my tears rolling.

Your story is so sweet and heartfelt, thank you for sharing!

Kathryn said...

What a lovely story. You are both so lucky to have such a strong marriage. Just beautiful.
Thank you for sharing it with us. :)

Rebecca said...

Thanks for sharing your story. It's a good one. :)