Most people who have spent any time my husband would most likely classify him as a good listener. And he is. He has great stamina to be quiet and listen to people who want and need to talk. Many times I go on ahead to the car and take a nap or read several chapters in a book while I wait for him to finish listening to someone else. He is not a conversation closer. He always waits for the other person to finish everything they need to say.
Really, I wish I could be more like that.
What most people don’t know about him is that he can also be quite the chatty cathy. That’s typically his role when we have lunch together. The things he says and the topics he talks about often make me laugh, so he is usually my entertainment too. I always tell him that going back to work after having such a lunch with him is the hardest part of the day.
Yesterday I sat across the lunch table from him and he didn’t say much. I thought he seemed a little blue about something.
Finally, I said to him, “So, do you feel like you are standing right on the edge of something drastic and horrible happening and that the next step will be into the abyss and there will be disaster and pain and suffering and the end of the and life as we know it?”
He looked at me funny and said, “No, not really, Why?”
Well because that’s the way I have felt for the last couple of days.
I think it started with the mortgage crisis all that stock dropping. Then there was that business of family members in crisis staying at my house. And a cold, rainy, grey trip to the beach. Oh, and all that change that came with the presidential election. And all the other personal change that I’ve been praying for for years that hasn’t come yet. Not to mention the budget debate at church, where Scott’s paycheck comes from. It is actually the low attendance that’s causing part of that problem, but the lack of people is even more disheartening than the lack of money. My 401K statement that came in the mail yesterday seemed to mock me by saying the last 10 years have been somewhat of a waste, revealing the total investment figure to be currently reduced to what is was back in 1997. Plus, hormones. Enough said.
And those are just the highlights. Or I guess I should say, the lowlights.
Like I said, I had been living under that black cloud for a couple of days. Finally saying it out loud gave me a headache. By the time 5 o’clock came I could hardly wait to get home and put on some comfortable shoes, because everyone knows that is the surefire cure for a tension headache.
My life is not really all that bad. I have much, much, much to be thankful for and very little to truly complain about. Except maybe those pinching heels I wore yesterday.
Ahh, which was my own bad choice, wasn’t it?
Hmmm, maybe that would apply to my attitude about some of those other things too.
No worries today. I’m wearing low heels, it’s time for lunch, and I’ve got a date with a good listener.
I pour out my complaint before him; before him I tell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way. Psalm 142: 2-3